I came upon you and said “why don’t we leave something with each other that will remind us of what we were?”y
I asked you what you wanted, and you didn’t say anything specific. I told myself I will give you a box.
“What for?” I asked myself.
“To put things in”
“What kind of things?”
“Whatever thing I have” I told myself.
Well, here is your box. Nearly everything I have is in it, my best memories, best moments and it’s not full. Pain and excitement are in it, happiness, love and regrets, good thoughts- the pleasure of design and some despair and indescribable joy of affection and creation.
And on top these are all the gratitude and love I have for you. And the box is still not full.
In the vastness of space and immensity of time, it was my joy to spend a planet and an epoch with Ella..
The year was 2008, one rainy afternoon in July, Kure; a close pal of mine and myself, were walking through social centre of the famous Ahmadu Bello University main campus Zaria and there she was in this blue pullover with a white stripe along each arm, I was taken aback by her calm, gentle but beautiful innocent face and the faint smile across her face. Playfully as we always were back then; we jokingly complimented her good looking pullover hoping to strike a pick-up line, she walked passed us without uttering a word in return. We both laughed as she walked away while we hung around to wait for Kure’s girlfriend Zara, who was in a nearby cyber café. After a while our wait was over as Zara walked out of the cyber café receiving a phone call on her mobile phone in attempt to know the location of a friend. She beckoned on us to wait a few more minutes for a friend who just came to town.
A few minutes passed and there she was; the same lady we had seen earlier was the same person Zara was waiting for. It was the funniest thing ever, even as Zara tried introducing us we couldn’t stop laughing as we told Zara about our ordeal a few minutes earlier. “Meet Ella” Zara said smiling at the awkward situation. Meanwhile, Ella tried ignoring our presence while we teased her… I guess she was fronting *wink*. She had every right to front, she was pretty and flawless. What’s the essence of being pretty if you don’t keep men on their toes…lol, just saying.*smiles*
We took a walk to the front of Amina hall, standing there I playfully asked for her number “No” she said with a smile “if Zara approves, she may give you my number”. That moment, butterflies danced in my stomach coz I was overwhelmed with excitement like a five year old that just got the best candy on sale but kept my cool on the outside. I needed to form small na …lol.
A few minutes passed and we saw her off as she walked away towards area ‘A’ where she came visiting at her cousin’s. Zara eventually gave me Ella’s number that night and as desperate was I didn’t waste any minute, I called her that night, we spoke at length and I asked her if we could meet… “will be a bit busy, but will make out time, the day after tomorrow” she said. I could not hide my excitement as I told Kure how I had nailed a date with the girl of my dreams.
Today is the day I will be having a date with Ella I told myself as I carefully ironed my white long sleeve shirt, got set in a blue jeans and a blue sneakers to match. I needed to look my best, this is Ella we are talking about, the girl that that practically swept me off my tiny feet at first glance; I wasn’t going to fall short in my looks and composure coz it was a rare privilege for me and I needed it to work. We were to meet by 4pm that evening so by 3pm I headed out looking fly, or so I thought lol…for my mind, chai! I took a bus to PZ from GRA, then took another bus linking to samaru. A few minutes later I arrived at ABU main campus gate. Called her up as I approached area A and there she was in sky blue jeans, red wrist watch and red sneakers to match. I couldn’t help but compliment how amazing she looked, she said “thank you” and complimented me too I think, can’t really remember.
We talked all evening while we took a walk round area A, we talked about everything; from life, to music, to movies, ourselves, ambitions, etcetera. That was by far the most interesting walk I have ever had with anyone coz we flowed naturally, we didn’t need to pretend, we were ourselves. I think that was the day I fell in love with Ella. That evening was simply magical, I never would have thought there was more to her than a pretty face but that meeting confirmed it all; she was funny, interesting, gentle and adorable all evening. I narrated how amazing the night was countless times to Kure that he got tired and said I was crazy lol…
Sadly Ella would be leaving town for Jos the next morning. I was sad deep down but the excitement within me and the amazing moment I had with her made up for all that.
Seven months passed and we had not seen each other in what will be the longest wait ever. Although we went back to our normal lives at the time, we kept in touch so much that it didn’t feel that long; in a time when social media on mobile devices were not common, we sure did a lot of texting and calls. The wait was about to change because Ella was coming to town to write Polytechnic JAMB and will be spending days with me Yay! She came a few days before her exams. We met in DAC/college of agricultural where Kure and Zara were schooling at the time. A friend of hers (Joy) tagged along from Abuja.
As we waited for her arrival, I was becoming impatient with anticipation. Suddenly my phone rang “I am by the road, where are you?” she said over the phone. I quickly jumped up with Kure as we rushed out to welcome them and see my Ella #smiles#. As we approached where they stood, there she was in a torques blue shirt/top, black jeans/trousers and her box. She will be staying at Zara’s place while Zara was away for the weekend. She settled in, I made sure she and her friend ate and were well rested.
We spent a couple of hours at Kure’s place. When it was time to go for the night, Kure and I saw them off to front of Zara’s gate. Joy had already gone inside the house while Ella and I remained outside as we tried to catch up on the months that had rolled by, after a few minutes we just stood there smiling. I still remember that night vividly coz it was the night that confirmed it all; the moon was at its fullest, we had earlier had a long talk, laughing and all over each other like kids. The moment came, that nerve wrenching moment where you are finding the right words, the moment when words came short, nothing more to say, tension was on the rise, as difficult as it was I gathered it up and finally grew the balls to ask while staring at her glowing face under moon light “may I kiss you?”” with a trembling voice and heart pounding I asked…with that smile on her face as always she looked at me and said “am here aren’t I? “Or something like that.
She didn’t say anything further, and for me it was a good sign. So I leaned down forward and paused just before I could touch her lips. I saw, she had closed her eyes and that was all the permission I needed. Our lips met. At first I could feel the tenderness, and then she grabbed me by my arm pulling me towards her in a sudden move of passion. She opened her mouth, just enough for our tongues to interlock and do the dance. Wow! I said to myself, the kiss was out of this world, I have never experienced a kiss that felt that good, it was the most honest, truthful moment I’d ever shared with a woman, her heat, her scent, her generosity and kindness, her devastating sensuality entered my bloodstream as my knees grew weaker, I quickly pulled back to avoid losing my balance…lol .She paused and starred at me as she smiled, we hugged and said good night.
The next day I called to ask what she and her friend will like to have for breakfast. Later that day they came over, we played scrabble and watched a movie at Kure’s place. The day unfolded perfectly, later that evening I took a walk with Ella and we finally arrived at Zara’s place. Went in and lay on the bed silent, our hearts pounding. I could literally hear the sound of my heart beat as I lay next to her. There was an unusual silence, I could no longer hold it so I went straight for her lips, we started kissing as if our lives depended on it, ripping each other’s clothes off, kissing and breathing heavily and that was it…from that moment we knew that was what we both have longed for. It will mark the beginning of another chapter of our passionate story. I smiled and kissed her forehead reassuring her inability was no inconvenience. She closed her eyes and I moved my lips towards her, I think she could feel my erection touching her between her thighs but to my surprise she didn’t mind.
I removed her top and also undressed myself. I dived down again as our bare naked bodies touched; she locked her legs around my waist restricting my movement as if she never wanted this moment to go. Her enchanting smell emasculating me to resist her as our bodies bumped and grind against each other. My hard & rough hands touched her tender bosoms. Her body was nothing I have ever seen, soft, delicate and tender. While our lips were glued to each other, my hands were trying to find the secrets to unlock the hooks of her bra, pulling down her straps as her face turns sideways….leave the rest to imagination.
The night was magical and full of intensity, that’s all I will say #wink#…I didn’t spend the night coz we both went back to Kure’s place smiling as if nothing had happened; the guilty look on our faces was as glaring as the revelation of the newly found affection and love I have for Ella. I mean I was next to this amazing lady I genuinely like, the absolute perfect woman, everything about her breathes happiness, joy, laughter all wrapped up in one, the words are not coming but she is my kind of woman…people say there is no perfect woman but I say that’s a farce coz my Ella is, she makes everything look simple, she is unique, her essence speaks perfection. I love cartoons for one thing; how they make the world look colourful and less too serious, Ella had that effect too.
The day of the exams came, I followed her to the centre in Zaria City and we came back to Samaru after she was done. The day that followed was the day she will leave for Abuja. Already, Zara had arrived from her trip the night before so she tried to prepare breakfast for Ella and Joy before they left. I remember making a video of her playing with an egg and how she claimed she could swallow it, funny right? Lol…hours passed and it was time to leave, as we saw them off to the road Kure being his usual self kept taking pictures and videos to savour the moment like he always does, love that dude.
We bade ourselves the painful farewell after the magical three days we shared. As the bus drove away I felt a sudden emptiness within me that was only to be filled by Ella. A few moments later, after missing a couple of her calls she sent a text “I have not even left Zaria and you have gone back to your girls right? Just passing Wusasa.”…I quickly replied telling her how far I was from my phone when her calls came in.
That was going to be the last time I will see Ella for two years. After a week, I left for my national youth service in one of the eastern state in Nigeria, while she secured an admission in Private University in one of the western states after few months. We kept in touch frequently when I was in camp but gradually life happened to both of us and contact became less and less but there was always this strength I had within me knowing that wherever she was she had my back.
National Youth service ended and I moved to Abuja to stay with a relative in 2010. All efforts to see Ella didn’t bare much fruit coz she was always away in school although we kept in touch more often now coz we knew we were in the same town now…smiles
Another year rolled by and we finally met; had the evening planned to pick up a couple of friends to catch a football match and hangout but the problem was that the only chance I had to see Ella. She asked me to meet her in Utako where she went for a church program. So I drove and there she was walking by the road elegantly, slowly while she stalled so I could meet up with her. I pulled over the car, she came in, shut the door and drove away, explained to her how brief our meeting was going to be coz a couple of friends were waiting. “In that case you don’t have to take me all the way to my house . Mendos, you can drop me off where I can easily get a cab” she said, she was always considerate that way #smiles#; one of the qualities I adore her for. I pulled over and as she was about to alight, I asked for a kiss, in shock she delightfully declined with a gentle smile on her face. “Make time to see me again and you will have that kiss” she said as she stepped out of the car.
That’s the last time I will see her for another year although we still kept in touch via social media (Whatsapp, Facebook) and phone calls. She would tell me about school and I will tell her about work, we basically talked about everything. We sometimes attempted phone sex and lots of silly things just to try to make up for the distance that has kept us apart.
The year now was 2012, Ella’s mum had earlier moved to kubwa where we stayed also and she came over to see me. We had a long talk about how our lives had been, our relationship with others and how much we wanted each other. ” Mendos come and take me away from this relationship am in, it’s you I want to be with” she always said, “come and tell my dad you want to marry me” but “how can I?…I don’t have a job, I can’t meet your needs, I can’t provide for you” I always responded.
She always assured me not to worry about that, work will definitely come but I never listened, I kept stalling, flimsy excuses all the time. We had a long walk as I saw her off that evening. That was the last I saw of her until 2013 she came to Zaria to her cousin’s. She invited me over, and when I visited she looked exceptionally different from the last time I saw her; she was looking more elegant and beautiful, perhaps it was the hair do and eye lashes but her skin was radiant as well. So much that I was a thrown aback and off my feet. The meeting was brief, we talked and laughed for a while, as she was seeing me off we talked about the possibility of her staying in a place like Zaria if we eventually ended up together…”why not, provided am with you I can stay in a place like Zaria” responded. Smiles# the evening ended like every other previous meetings, with promises to make things up and take the next step. The funny thing was we knew we wanted each other badly but as silly as I was kept stalling thinking there was time.
After she left Zaria we kept in touch but we didn’t see each other again until some months later, November 2013 when I visited Abuja for an interview after which I took the time out to visit her at her place of primary assignment at that time(location withheld). The meeting was brief but however brief the contact was, a lot of feelings still lingered after we parted our ways.
We didn’t see each other that year again until March 2014 when she came for a wedding in Zaria. She was supposed to leave a day before with her mum but decided to stay back just to see me. My phone rang “I’m opposite kwangila Motor Park. Where are you?”she said. I hurriedly jumped from the bed and headed for the park where we met and she came back with me to the house where she talked bitterly about how unserious I was in dealing with our relationship, as always I apologised and made promises. “Mendos, please come and take me away from this relationship i’m in” she said again, “I won’t wait forever you know” she said conclusively. As those words were processing in my head I knew that was what I wanted but the fear of failing her kept clouding my head. “What if am not up to what she wants? What if am not good enough? What if I don’t meet her expectations, what if I come short?” I made another promise to her, that will make it all up in due time.
I saw her off to the park, we spent a few more minutes there as I regretted why I didn’t kiss her at Kure’s place before heading for the park, silly me. When it was time to leave she gave me a tight hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Didn’t expect she could do that in a public place and in a town like Zaria. That moment swept me off my feet, I could not hide the expression of delight on my face, I was bemused. That moment I knew she was truly into me, all doubts shattered. I stood there as her vehicle drove away, the brightness on my face deemed as the vehicle gradually disappeared.
We didn’t see each other again until a year later, in April 2015 during my annual leave. I visited Abuja, drove to her location to pick her up; we took a drive down to Kubwa where I was visiting. We talked and shared a lot. We kissed passionately twice and wanted each other badly but we were not alone. We went out had a drink and a bite while we took pictures, told her how beautiful her engagement ring was, but she was shy and chose to hide it from me. As time passed it was time to drop her off at home which I eventually did and we bade each other farewell.
Before we said our farewells she assured me she would come visit me in Kano. We had planned for that visit until it was ruined at the eleventh hour. “Mendos, my world is shattered, they’ve ruined everything she said crying” I can’t make it to Kano anymore. My fiancé cancelled my trip and insisted I do my shopping in Kaduna not Kano anymore. That day I lost all composure at work, I couldn’t think straight, that was the day it truly downed on me that I had lost Ella finally to another man. “Mendos, I have to see you, I must see you before I get married, I want to see you, do something” she said over the phone. “When is your wedding?” I asked with my voice trembling. “Next month ending, November **” she replied over the phone, damn! My knees got weaker but I kept my composure coz we needed a glimmer of hope that we would see the next day.
Luckily for me, Kano state declared a public holiday to mark the first day of the Islamic calendar the next morning. It was the perfect holiday for me. “Let me know your plans Mendos, I’m waiting” she said. After a while I pinged her that we will meet in Kaduna the next morning. Then it happened, on the 14th of October 2014 when we met in Kaduna. I had left Kano early that morning and she had left Abuja to see me before going out to shop for her wedding things with her ‘besty’ as she always calls her friend.
I arrived Kaduna a bit early so went to see Kure at his place of work. After a while my phone rang “Mendos where are you? I’m at the junction leading to Kure’s house… So we jumped into the next available cab and headed straight for the house; along the way we picked a couple of drinks and something to eat. As we alighted from the cab there she was in black jergens, light pink top and two hand bags; grey and a yellow Gucci hand bag. The smile on her face was the best thing I had seen in a long time. “Don’t talk to me, i’m not talking to you, you kept me under this hot sun” she said with a faint smile on her face as always…let me help you with one bag I said, but she declined. As we walked towards the house, Kure went ahead of us doing his usual thing; taking pictures of us and teasing Zara while we all laughed.
As we stepped into the house, she sat on the carpet, dropped here bags to rest her head and cool off from the hot sun. “What will you take?” I asked her, “nothing” she responded. Kure offered her apples, later poured a drink for the both of us in separate glasses with ice. We watched TV for a while then headed for the bedroom leaving Kure in the sitting room. “I can’t believe you are here with me” I said to her while I starred at her as she lay on the bed, I later joined her on the bed. Short of words to say, I kept saying “welcome, welcome”… “You have said that more than once today Mendos” she said smiling…lol short of words to say, I went straight for her lips as she was expecting too; our lips locked and we kissed passionately, taking each other’s clothes off, next we were all over each other…it was a mixture of passionate, slow and fast paced wild love making.
We were out of this world, it felt like we were floating, we both moaned and groaned until we finally came to a stop, probably to catch our breaths. She lay on my chest and we talked about how amazing our lives would have been if we ended up together, emotions started rolling in. “I am sorry I failed Ella” I said, with regrets on my face. “I want you to try and be happy; do not compare him with me, love the best you can and be happy no matter what” I said to her. She lay with her head on my chest, tears dripping from her eyes as she listened to me. “Mendos, it’s you I want to be with, it’s you I always wanted but…” she said. “It’s you I always wanted” I replied. It was a magical but sad moment for us but we made sure we made the most of it knowing it might be our last moment alone together.
After shower she wore the short white lovely skirt I had once seen on her in a picture and requested that she came with it so I can see her in it. That’s the thing about Ella; she always understands me and what I want. Somehow we end up wanting the same thing. “Wow you look ravishing in that skirt” I said and she chuckled as she said thank you.
Moments later we headed to the sitting room where Kure was, we talked, laughed, took a couple of pictures. Every second with her was just magical but never lasted, time was never enough; at least that was how our relationship had always been over the years. Over a span of Seven years we only met nine times yet everything felt like we have spent our lives together side by side.
Sadly it was time for Ella to go; her besty was already in the market waiting for her. We stepped out and peaked at Kure’ s dogs in the cage where we both admired them and shared some laughs while we stepped out of the gate as we saw her off. The walk was brief but with Kure around it was not short of teasing, jibes and pictures; typical of the dude. Lol. We came to a stop where we stopped a cab for her. I further complimented how beautiful her engagement ring looked and told her not to be shy, I meant what I said. She thanked me and we said our farewells as I and Kure stood there. As the cab faded she still turned and waved from the rear window. I stood there frozen, with mixed feelings, wondering what will become of the both of us or how we will go about our lives knowing that we can no longer be together again. Every glimmer of hope of getting back together has now been shattered; in a few week time she will be another man’s wife. I kept asking myself if he knew how important, delicate and special Ella, how perfect, tender and amazing she it. All sorts of crazy thoughts rallied through my head.
That evening I headed back to Kano, feeling awful and empty, from that moment every slow song took me down memory lane, took me back to the days I had the chance to make it all work, to the good times we had shared. Every attempt to keep my composure failed as tears gushed down my cheeks as I sat next to the window as the car moved. That night was a slow one as we chatted on bbm. “I’m missing you, wish I was in your arms…I for don sleep since” she said but as funny as it sounded it was exactly what I was about to say. “Why did you feel it was necessary to see me” I asked over bbm chat. Coz I wouldn’t have been able to move on and I really wanted you” I wanted you more and needed to see you too.
She called the next morning “Mendos, how are you?” she asked. “Fine” I said, although it was a lie but she knew, she always knows. She asked again “Mendos, how are you, tell me the truth. “Truthfully, I’m far from fine, our meeting was supposed to make us feel better but…she finished the sentence and said “…we are feeling worse instead right?”… “Yes I replied “I feel the same way too, you have clouded my thoughts all day, I want you for keeps” she said.” Here I am going about my daily duties in the office but I feel this heavy burden, this emptiness, trying to tell myself i’m ok but am not. Don’t want to listen to any slow songs right now” I said bitterly “you shouldn’t feel that, i’m with you in heart” this wasn’t supposed to end this way, how did we end up like this?..” “I pictured a great future with you” she said while she confessed how the pictures we took together made her smile and reminded her of how much she loves me.
The days that followed were my darkest and most lonely days, nothing around me made much sense, slow songs only made me sick. We kept in touch but it was becoming more difficult especially with her fiancé beside her. Some nights she will sneak to call me just to say how much she loves me; I must confess those words really kept me going because they meant a lot to me coming from her.
Now I have to settle for someone else when all I ever wanted was you…i’m still hoping you will call and tell me it’s just a joke and you ain’t getting married “Mendos, you’ve been punked” just my thought though …a story that started seven years ago; on that rainy evening of July 2008 can’t end this way…started like a joke with me and Kure commenting on ur pullover just to get ur attention playfully and teasing ya, and how it became funnier when we realised that the same girl we saw a few minutes ago was the same person our Zara was waiting for, then the walk we had in area ‘A’ a day after,that was our first date; I still remember ur pink sneakers and pink wrist watch to match with ur sky blue jeans..silly me,i repeated how that day went with Kure countless times that he got tired and said I was crazy ; about how I was on a date with a girl I fell in love with on the first date.
The passion was unbearable, regardless of how little we had the chance to see each other, distance only made us stronger. “There is still more to our story, one way or the other this is not the end of our story…i don’t think so…there is still more…you know me too well,you understand me too well. Somehow, last night I was dying to hear from you and there you were,your call came in, you risked it all and called just to tell me how much you love..I almost wept tears of joy when I saw your call. Ella I love you, I’m crazy about you…maybe I couldn’t have loved u or make you happy the way he does or will.
Maybe I was too unserious and playful, careless, childish…just maybe I wasn’t good enough…I just hate myself coz I blew it over and over again…i pray someday I find a way of forgiving myself…but just like you will always say “God has a reason”. No one has and will ever come close to you…i envy him coz he has got the best woman any man can ever dream of; kind, loving, God fearing, funny ,understanding to a fault, flawless, beautiful and forgiving. I wish u were the mother of my kids, I really do, I owe you a lot, and I will love your kids as if they were mine. Letting you go is and will be by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Farewell my dearest one, my soul mate and best half. You will be greatly missed and NEVER forgotten. Lots of love, always.
Always be proud of my Ella, she is different, not your typical everyday kind of girl…around her I can do almost anything…Like I developed super powers. I still console myself with her magic, her voice, and her charm, that smile and the moments of joy she brought to my life, she is like my emotional GPS, she reminds me of my good past. She represents love, happiness and reminds me of whom I really am. I will forever miss her; I pray she finds the happiness she deserves wherever she is. We will remain best of friends, she will be my confidant and me hers.
Mimie: Mendos🙄
