Dear Mimie, looking for the most disrespectful dad? Meet mine.

Hey Mimie.I saw your post about a lady sharing how useless her dad was. She hasn’t met mine. It’s  not a competition, just felt like sharing mine.

Years ago, when my mom was still single, she worked for this Lebanese family as their maid. She was loved by them, and she got gifts. The children didn’t want her out of their sight. She was doing well for herself that year until she met Mr. Fine Boy.

My mom actually put herself in this mess. She’d buy stuff and give it to my dad then. To think that he didn’t have any affection for her and that she was still throwing herself around him. She had every reason to quit the relationship, but no, she was in love. As a guy, if I were to be a woman, I wouldn’t try such stupidity, sorry to say. We keep shouting, “Love is wicked.” I beg to disagree with that. It’s not. Humans are wicked.

If you’re looking for the most disrespectful man as a so-called father figure, meet my dad. Before my mom got married to him, something that I can’t recall happened in the village—to my mom’s family member, to be precise. He managed to send a miserable contribution and sent a letter to my late grandpa stating that the contribution he sent was part of his daughter’s bride price.

Now my pain is this: He didn’t only disrespect my mom but her family as well. What sane woman goes on with that marriage? Even when everyone asked her to back out, she didn’t. She’d always make excuses for him. Reality began to dawn on her when she resigned her job and decided to marry this failure of a man who cheats on her without remorse or with some respect.

My mom still fed him. Like in your previous story, she said the only good thing was that her father was fertile enough to impregnate her mom. Same as mine. My mom’s cousin, whom he had some respect for, would always caution him about his acts.

My mom was broke and pregnant then. She didn’t get the proper treatment a pregnant woman should get. I still wonder how none of us are deformed. Her cousin came through for her. I love that my mom’s cousin, and I’ll tell you why. At the mention of her name, he’d compose himself. Guess what? My dad did his first child’s naming ceremony on debt. Borrowed sound system and all. He was hoping that people would turn and he’d get some money to repay. People, this didn’t come.

He began to lament and told my mom she’d pay the debt if people didn’t turn up. At that point, she knew that he had borrowed money. Imagine a breastfeeding mother drinking garri. Well, I didn’t bother to ask how it ended. My dad was operated upon, and he bought provisions and other food stuff like Irish potatoes and eggs, which my mom would prepare for him, and she dare not eat from it. Mind you, my mom was still breastfeeding. Thanks again to her cousin, who came through for her.

My mom practically saw us through school even though we lived from hand to mouth while my dad spent money on his babies(side chicks) outside. He’d even beat my mom if she made any demands. We are grownups now. When my elder sister was about to get married, my dad wanted to stop the wedding. He said she should work and take care of us before marriage. She was already working before her wedding. Lol,what’s his job as a father?

Thankfully, my sister was adamant; my mom’s cousin had to step in. When she called him, he shamelessly told my mom’s cousin the same thing he told my mom, and she gave him the words of his life. After much talk, the wedding plans continued, and he frustrated them.

He made sure that of the money that was sprayed on her traditional wedding day, no penny got to my sister. Everyone ignored him. My sister had to put herself together because it was embarrassing. She gave birth, and he didn’t call to say congratulations to her or to think that that was his first grandchild. He’s keeping malice with her. We weren’t surprised; this is someone who didn’t attend his daughter’s white wedding.

If you’re looking for the devil himself, I’ll show you my dad.
Our rent was long overdue, and there was a court order to evacuate the premises. My dad would rather sleep out and have fun with his girlfriend (we knew her) than bring money home. My mom pleaded with the landlord, but he refused this time. The man has tried. On top of all these troubles, there was this time he wanted to beat my mom again. Ha! Not under my watch.

My younger brother and I warned him never to try it again, or else it would be “boys versus men.” This woman has never enjoyed anything from him; instead, she endured his disgusting behavior, and he still wants to beat her again. She did menial jobs just to keep us.

Eventually, my older sisters were able to raise three hundred and fifty thousand for a new house for us to move into. My mom told my dad it was the remaining money to pay the truck guys that would move our things. Instead of this man being happy, he said “The same people who contributed the money for the rent should provide the rest”, when he returned from his journey.

This is a man who knew there was no food in the house one time like that; his salary was paid, and he went to buy a standing fan because of the heat. No one dares use that fan with him.

I thought of everything, and I told my mom he wouldn’t move into the new house with us. We’d move our stuff out and leave his own. Enough of his overbearing attitude. Obviously, we won’t listen to her; she called her cousin to plead with us.

My pain is that my mom has done nothing wrong to this man. Her only offense was loving him and trying to be a good wife to the most useless father alive, who is still bent on destroying her. Some days, I feel like flogging out the stupidity in him. It’s unfair.

God forbid a father like mine.

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  1. Beautiful and simple narrative. The character of Dad is found everywhere. There’s also that messianic character who always come to salvage the situation. This character is seen in the personae of Mother’s cousin.
    One great lesson here is, there’s a limit that the children will take to how their mother is treated. It only takes some time. Personalising such kind of narrative shows strong ability for fiction. Even though this story reflects the experiences if many families who find it difficult to speak out. Their voices now become audible through Miriam’s piece.
    Miriam, keep those writing up. The more you write, better writer you become.
    The likes of Chimamanda are not’t the only great female writers from this part of the globe. Miriam has come to increase the names on the list.


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