It was a beautiful sunny day with no lectures to attend. I took a stroll to my Instagram DM with this pending message. I responded to it, and the conversation went well with this guy.
It seems like we’ve known each other because the flow was there, and I can’t help but wonder. We talked about different views on life, and it was beautiful.
Little did I know that I said some things that made him change his mind. He pulled over when my message popped, according to him.
After our conversation, he requested my number to send a token of airtime as an expression of appreciation. I declined. He insisted. Well, since it wasn’t my account details, I sent the number, and he credited me with 3K of airtime. I thanked him and asked, “Why?” He said he was contemplating suicide. Phewwwwww!
We became friends and started a relationship after a short while.It was beautiful. The kind of relationship we both wanted, the beauty of being friends, and the communication were top-notch.
He had issues with the fact that I was reserved; he spoke with my sister, and he was a bit cool when she told him that was my nature. But we battled it. He was a bit jealous, but not the toxic type.
Living from Zaria to Abuja wasn’t such a big deal, so long as I had no weekend classes or rehearsals. I’d never forget the day I finished an exam that was 4 credit units to go see him. To think that the brainbox of the class wasn’t done. Well, I got a B, thankfully.
Dude told me he lost his girlfriend to a painful appendicitis Operation. Her mom took her to a cheap hospital. Little did I know that he was far from the truth.
We kept our relationship going. He talked about coming to see my parents to introduce himself. That was a happy moment for me because I felt I’d be with the man of my dreams.
He was in the health sector and also a DJ. There was this balance because I’ve always wanted someone in the same field (entertainment) as me.
At some point, the drive from Kaduna to Abuja became 30 minutes for me. In no time, I was there. I’d always lie to my mom that I was going to my friend’s.
There was this time he posted a picture on his status of these two lovely girls, one of whom looked exactly like him, and I commented. He told me they were his older sister’s children. Well, I didn’t bother to push to know the truth. Then another day, I heard one call him “daddy, welcome” while on the phone. I brought it to his attention, and he told me that’s what they call him. OK……
I noticed our communication was dropping drastically. It’s something that has never happened, no matter the misunderstanding we had. This case was different. I tried to know what was happening. He keeps telling me it’s work and some personal stuff, family-related, and he wouldn’t want to drag me in.
I was still keeping my cool, but then, my all-loving boyfriend was not what he used to be. I couldn’t help but look out to see if I did something wrong. He was this outspoken person, so even if I did something, he’d tell me.
It went to the point that we wouldn’t talk.
to each other for a day, or I’ll call him and he won’t pick up, but if I used a different number, he’d pick up. My friends and roommates were no longer pleased with the whole situation. One used her phone to call him to talk to me; they didn’t like the way I was behaving, and the fact that I genuinely loved him and turned down other guys was annoying. He should talk to me.
Oga got pissed and called me to tell me to stop calling him with different lines. He was unapologetic. For the first time, they saw me cry because of a man.
I called my best friend to tell her, and she asked me to come over to Abuja. Maybe I need to see him face-to-face to sort things out. She said she’d talk to him. I left school that Friday for Abuja.
Omo! I really stressed out my friend. She just wanted me to be calm. She got ice cream for us and was checking on me at intervals while we slept.
Breakfast was not anyone’s mate, considering that I was about to let go.
We went to his office the next day, and he said things weren’t adding up.
Someone who said I was too reserved called me talkative. Ha! My friend corrected him there and then.
He should at least say what the issue was. He told her we’d talk about it in the evening.
She asked if tukadero was okay, and I obliged since I’ve not gone bowling in a while.
It was 7 p.m., and Oga called to say an emergency came up but he’d see me in the morning.
We continued our games and left for home afterwards. I had fun, thanks to Mamah.
Sunday morning was here, and he came
and began to rant and nag about how my friend in school insulted him. I heard all the conversations and defended her.
I was not having it. Since he wasn’t ready to trash out issues, I banged on his car door and left.
Mamah looked at me, and I promised not to shed a tear. I made up my mind that it was over. I went back to school. You could tell all was not well with me.
I began to shed weight I didn’t have; my heart was heavy; I had this constant headache; nothing was appealing. I felt like the world should just come to an end. I couldn’t believe what was happening at that moment.
I wondered how I was able to cope at school, considering that my course was demanding and needed full concentration.
I remembered a lecturer asking if I was OK, and I nodded. He asked that I go to the guidance and counseling office for help. I told him I was fine.
Break was here, and the FBI in me came up active. I remembered some words he said to me, like “I’ll block you from some of my social media space; you’re too smart for my liking and you’d discover what you’re not supposed to.” Those words rang a bell in my head.
Guy had blocked me everywhere except WhatsApp. I opened another Facebook account, and the search began. I checked his Instagram handle and saw pictures of him and his ex-wife, even on Facebook.
I read through the comments, someone asked if she sings too, and he said she was into gospel. To confirm my instincts, I asked a mutual friend if he was married.
He told me he’d ask his brother because they were quite close.
A few minutes later, I received a call. He said, “What if the news was either good or worse, how would you react? I told him sh*t happens. I can handle it. He sighed and told me. “He’s married”.
Hey God! I tried to keep my cool while on the phone with him. But deep down, I was broken again. Like, why would he hide such things from me? It was left for me to decide if I wanted to date a married man. Why didn’t he mention he had issues with his marriage?
I dropped the call and called him, but he didn’t pick up. I dropped a message on WhatsApp, and he asked if any of his family members had contacted me.
I told him no. He said he knew I’d find out, but he didn’t know how to break the news to me. He didn’t want to lose me.
I cried my eyes out again. Despite everything, I was still being nice to him. I told him he needed to fix his marriage. I asked why he denied his kids. Oga said he was never proud of it with the kids (in my head, who does that?).
He began to narrate his ordeal, and I tried to console him even though I was in pain. I won’t deny the fact that I still loved him, but then.. The deed has been done.
My world came crashing down. I called but got no response. My heart began to race. I hope he hasn’t done what he said he’d do. He was contemplating suicide.
His friend responded to my messages; he introduced himself and told me Sam was hospitalized.
He told me his house was fumigated and he was still inside. I got the chance to talk to him, and he was still behaving like an idiot. It took a while for me to heal up, but then the funny thing is that I didn’t know I was depressed until I read about it because I saw updates on people committing suicide then..
It dawned on me that I was actually depressed then. Years later,he drops a message on my WhatsApp asking what I do to people who offended me. I told him I let them be and move on. He asked after my mom and sisters.
He wanted us back but I declined. The fact that he narrated how the divorce process went, I felt he was being selfish and self-centered .
He didn’t ask how I felt. He told me how me misses me,I was a good girl and not demanding. He won’t compare me to others he dated after me but I wasn’t ready to fall for it again… I can’t imagine being depressed again!….
